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Guilty of Free Expression
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| Woo....magic! |
[Jan. 3rd, 2004|10:28 pm] |
So I just noticed that my last journal was from the future. It was dated December 28th! And I went to go update just now and it was already January 4th. Crazy huh! Somehow I changed the date in the little date thing...you know what I mean.
Anyway...School is over. I am working full time now and I should be able to save enough to pay for school this semester. Hopefully!
I should be getting a new car in the next few weeks...so that should be cool.
Things with Will are as always as good as can be. On Saturday we're going to san diego for a family christmas get together. He's fitting into the family quite well. I'm looking forward to spending christmas with him and my family this year.
Ive been fighting a cold since last tuesday. The stress from finals brought it on I think and I'm fighting it. I dont mind the boogers...its the sore throat thatI dont like. But ill get better soon enough.
I dont know what to get my mom for christmas. I pretty much have everyone else figured out save for a couple of friends, but my mom has left me pretty much clueless. HELP!
Will and I watched Queer Eye for the Straight guy and A simple life. Those shows are great!
Alrighty, I am going to get to bed. Goodnight everyone.
Heres one of my favorite pictures that I took:
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2003|06:46 am] |
Look at what I'm going to (try) to get my mommy for christmas!
Isnt he the cutest. We used to have a cocker spaniel named Sunny that died a couple years ago. My mom has been saying she misses him and wants another puppy. So here we go! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2003|10:01 pm] |
So today, in my fortune cookie, I got TWO fortunes! One said that I will take a trip to the seaside. The other says I will sleep well.
I hope the second one is true. Ever since April I've had horrible nightmares because of what happened, and ever since what happened a couple weeks ago, they're just as bad.
It would be so nice to just get a full night of peaceful sleep. It helps when Will sleeps over, but im still up a lot. He's been here almost every night for the past week...my baby is so nice!
So ya, hopefully my fortune comes true!
But guess what else!? I picked out Will's Christmas Tree today! Its so pretty! I love Christmas! Everyone decorates their house and you get presents and give presents and it smells all pretty cuz of the christmas tree and the family gets together! And you can listen to christmas songs without being considered crazy!
Okay...im gonna sleep now.
Goodnight everyone! |
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| Thanksgiving Break |
[Nov. 30th, 2003|12:30 am] |
It's been a great time for me...a good break from work and school.
Rooney concert, Elf, and The Last Samurai...not too mention spending loads of time with family, friends, and of course Will!
I lost my ATM card at the mall today - so that wasnt fun. I didnt get to buy the stuff I wanted at Old Navy.. :(
Today Will and I are going to downtown to take pictures of stuff like the new walt disney concert hall. Its going to be fun!
Okay, gotta get dressed now!
BYE! |
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| Tonight was FUN! |
[Nov. 22nd, 2003|01:30 am] |
At first i thought it was gonna suck...cuz Will and Gregg wouldnt decide on anything.
But then we ended up calling Eli and hanging out with him and his friends.
We chilled on Ventura like highschool kids. I really enjoyed it, being that I really never lived my childhood teenage years.
Then Joe, and Whit, and Louis came and hung out with us in the parking lot. There was like 10 of us I guess.
We listened to Greggs ipod, which killed his battery in turn almost killing me pushing his car back and forth to get it to start. I need to work out more.
I like the sound of leaves falling on Will's roof. I could listen to that forever. I like nature.
WOW!!! I got my philosophy test back on thursday...I looked at the grade. It was a C. But...I just now saw that on the essay portion, he commented: "An excellent insightful answer"
That makes me happy!
Its almost 2 AM!
I have to be at work in 6.5 hours.
I should sleep!
Night everyone! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2003|10:21 pm] |
This week, although only half way over has been tiring. I've hurt a lot, and cried a lot, but I've also realized that my love for Will is stronger than I ever imagined. Things were hard for us getting together and it still is hard, but we've been able to overcome the obstacles, and even though it may take time for me to see things the way they used to be, i know everything will be okay.
I've been having one big trouble writing my testimonial thing for the court. How the hell do they expect me to go writing down every detail of being raped. Not like its hard enough already, but now they want me to go back through and relive it again. I want to get it over with, but at the same time, its only been a week and I'm just not ready for it.
I spent the day with Will today. It was really good, for me atleast. I think it was better for me to keep my mind of things...why do anniversaries make things worse? Does it really matter if its been a week or 9 days? It still happened...
Anyway...here is a recap of the days events:
7:30 - Starbucks at porter ranch
8:20 - Walmart
10:00 - Best Buy over in West Hills
11:00 - Northridge Mall for Wills schedule
12:00 - Japanese Gardens
-------It was sooo pretty. We took a roll of film, which wasnt enough. It inspired me to learn more about my camera and photography. Oh ya, I also tried to kill my car by driving over those cement parking space things...
2:30 - Went to Ritz to get pictures developed.
4:00 - Back to Wills
4:30 - Registered for classes
4:30< Chilled...watched Smallville and made a cooool design for a Rooney shirt.
10:00 - Came home :(
So ya...things are weird. Just so many things going on. Good, bad, painful, pleasant...it's hard.
But I know I'm not alone. I know Will is going to always be there for me, and Josh will always be there with open arms in case I ever feel alone or just need a shoulder to cry on. |
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| Its finally over.. |
[Nov. 13th, 2003|11:20 pm] |
He's in jail.
He's finally where he should be, for good.
Unfortunatly, I had to get hurt again in the process.
But I was able to say something I havent been since it first happened; I'm going to be okay.
Now that hes paid for what he did, I know I can finally start to heal. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2003|12:54 am] |
This weeks been good and bad.
Went to a taping of Jimmy Kimmel and got to see Tenacious D live. That was fun.
Saw the Matrix which was just incredible.
Its been an okay week.
But its been pretty bad too. Im not happy at work, school is killing me when it comes to money. I have to pay $440 in bills a month, not including living expenses. Thats just school, books, cell phone, and car insurance. I only make like $500 a month. Last month I got help so I had just enough for this month, but next month is a different story. Its not going to turn out well. And yippee, just in time for Christmas. I'm not going to feel right accepting gifts from anyone with nothing to give them.
Maybe I'll just run away on christmas, spend it alone.
I've been crying a lot. Lots of factors...school, being broke, James, upcoming court case, Will especially.
Why do we get hurt so much from the things we love the most, that hurts the most.
Life just doesnt work out in our favor, huh sweetie. We'll make it through, as long as we're together.
I found my guardian angel, *sigh*
Time to be happy - I'm tired of being sad |
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| stupid air hockey... |
[Oct. 30th, 2003|06:43 am] |
I broke my finger! Okay...maybe not...
So yesterday, after seeing Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Will, we decide to go play a game of air hockey, and yes, as always I got hurt. This time was worse than all the other times so Will drove me to Kaiser and I got x-rays done and stuff and luckily it wasnt broken, but hurt pretty bad...so now I have a big stupid splint on it....but its hurting so I probably should keep it on...i feel stupid, lol. I can type okay...but writing is going to be interesting.
Stupid air hockey! |
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| No freaking way! |
[Oct. 29th, 2003|04:43 pm] |
Wow! I got an old sock and an OLD SOCK!
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2003|10:06 pm] |
I made this yesterday...the more and more I added, the more and more it reminded me of the fires. I used to think of them being beautiful, but as the smoke covered the entire valley and enclosed me in a type of smokey prison I felt ashamed for showing it in such a beautiful way in the first place...look at me getting all philosophical.
I dunno...just me being weird I guess...
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2003|10:50 pm] |
Here are some pictures of my sisters wedding in Big Bear. It was kinda hectic...some people didn't make it because of the fires and freeways being shut down...and it happened to be cold and windy that day, but it turned out pretty good.
( more wedding pictures )</lj-cut" |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2003|10:31 pm] |
Sorry its so big...but I wanted it to be 8.5x11...and i was just to lazy to make the image smaller...but i think its cool
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| This doesnt explain anything! |
[Oct. 21st, 2003|05:21 pm] |
So, for the past two days I've been checking my email constantly to hear what happened to my teacher. Finally, I get something from him:
Hello All:
Sorry for Monday's confusion, but I blacked out in class and
was hauled away by ambulance to the ER. I was released
Tuseday afternoon and warned no to teach Wednesday. I plan to
be in class Friday. Thank you to all those who have sent
notes of concern.
wab
Dr. William Bowen, Geographer
California State U. Northridge
That doesnt explain anything! Grr. And hes gonna talk about it on Friday im sure and I wont be there. I want to know what happened to him.
I did research on what to do if someone is having a heart attack and I really didnt find anything. Everything was like, call 911 and stay calm. Meh!
MEH! |
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| Not the average geography class... |
[Oct. 20th, 2003|05:28 pm] |
My geography teacher had a heart attack in class today.
He had been out a couple of times because of pneumonia but seemed perfectly fine today.
20 minutes into class he told us to take a break because he wasnt feeling well. A couple seconds later he said there was a serious problem and class was cancelled and somewhere said something about a problem with his heart.
He had a pill bottle with a powdery substance that he started to spill and his left arm started shaking and he became very pale and started to slump forward. Two students went to help him and another one was already outside getting help. A teacher that knew about his condition came in to help him and soon a janitor came in and called 911. Luckily all the staff is trained in CPR and knows what to do in emergency situations.
The paramedics finally came about 10 minutes later and and were with him in the room for about 20. They finally wheeled him out on a stretcher with oxygen and an IV going. One of the paramedics had a clipboard in his hand with all of his information and i saw a printout of his EKG and it was steady so I guess that was a good sign.
Ive been checking my email all day to see if there was any word on his condition.
I hope he's okay though.
It was really scary to be in that situation and i decided that i'm going to read up on what to do in emergency situations like that so i dont feel so helpless. |
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| What a weekend |
[Oct. 20th, 2003|12:14 am] |
Friday I took a History Test that I did KICK ASS on, got off work early, went to the video shoot with Will and Gregg for Rooney which was stupendously entertaining.
Saturday Will and I drove to Big Bear which was scary...so many turns and curves and scary things like TRUCKS that were gonna hit me, and then raked up pine needles all day to get it all pretty for the wedding.
Sunday right when we woke up we went to Starbucks. We ordered 7 drinks, they charged us for 8 and ended up getting 9 drinks. Please, be more stupid. Then met up with Whitney and Gregg and went to Six Flags which was fun. Will put his blood on my shoe.
Ive lost my voice, the muscle in my leg is tightening up again, and im really really sore.:(
I realized I have a lot of stuff to do before Thursday. Wedding stuff: get my hair dyed and cut, get my nails and toes done, buy undergarments...and school stuff: write a philosophy paper and study for a math test. Eek! Somebody clone me, quick! |
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| letting things go |
[Oct. 13th, 2003|12:50 am] |
Had a dream tonight...my usual bad ones. This one was really bad and escalated to many bad things once I woke up.
I released a lot of negative energy that I've been holding in and realized where a lot of my anxieties are stemming from.
It was bad - but I'm feeling more calm and at peace with things.
It was horrible, but good in the end. I couldnt have done it without William though, I love you baby so much.
Qoute of the weekend:
Gregg: You know who has their nipples pierced?
Will: Who?
Gregg: Pam
Will: OH YEAH!!
Me: Damn, I just got dumped |
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| Turkey!!!! |
[Oct. 9th, 2003|07:24 pm] |
So, I was sitting at home minding my own business when my Dad walks in. With a TURKEY!! A Turkish Van that is.
My dads coworker breeds them and convinced my dad to bring her home. They're really cool. They dont have that undercoat so you wont be allergic to them, their fur is super soft and they have these cute little tuffs of hair inbetween their toes, and they like swimming, and they follow you around like dogs.
We dont get to keep her though...cuz we'd have to buy her for $250. If we buy anything its gonna be a puppy.
She's a cutie though. |
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| I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this... |
[Oct. 7th, 2003|07:21 pm] |
I wonder if people think im stupid? I stand there and see/hear/read something that points to something so obvious and im expected to sit there and pretend its nothing. Sure, it is probably nothing...but come on...how am I supposed to NOT let it bug me.
Sorry for the ambiguity...but thats as much detail as I can get into. Theres just one thing thats been sticking in my brain for the past couple days and it makes me a little uneasy....not at what it may point to, but just that one thing in itself.
And I wish I could talk about it but I know im just gonna be told that its nothing and to forget about it...but grrrrrrr.
Thats it. Grrrrrr! |
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